Back to blogging :-)

Hi all,so sorry I haven't posted for a really really long time, life just got so busy. I left my job and set up as a childminder because I couldn't face leaving sapphire in order for me to go to work, I didn't do it with S and H so I thought it would be unfair on Sapphire. Well obviously Sapphire has grown, look at how big she has got :-). I am going to have to get some photos from my phone to show how much all 3 have grown. Sapphire goes to pre school 2 mornings a week and loves it once she is there. She is 3 now and just starting to say a few words, her favourite ones are 'stop' with the hand sign, 'no' with a shake of her head and 'mine' she definitely knows her own mind lol. Anyway I must go now but my resolution is to keep up with my blog, I would like Sapphie to read it one day, just as her sisters do now, it can be like a diary of their life  :-) 

S is 4 months

S is now 4 months, she had her first visit from portage, her first visit with her paediatrician and she is developing fantastically, the paediatrician described her as meeting all the goals of a baby her age. She is now rolling over and has been for a couple of weeks :-).
H has got into her choice of secondary school so she is very happy and Su is continuing with the traumas of being a teenager but she is a happy one.
I am struggling with the thought of going back to work and I honestly don't think that I can leave S so I am keeping my options open as to what to do.
I must apologise that my blogging is very sporadic, I am trying to get better at it :-) .

Now the weather is picking up we are enjoying our walks even more, we are regular visitors down to our local bridge where the children enjoy running under it and down by the river. There are hardly any cars so they have complete run of the track and they really enjoy jumping off anything they see that is high enough :-)

This is S and H and one of their friends showing off their skills :-)

Well I have now taken Sapphire swimming for the first time and she loved it, we lasted in the pool for half an hour but when she started to turn blue I thought it was a good idea to get out. We will be going again next week.
My mum has knitted Sapphire her first cardigan, the photos will follow when I can get them from her, since my phone landed in a cup of coffee I can't take pictures.
I am lucky enough to have my friend next door who loves to take photos, she has taken some fantastic ones of Sapphie and I have to share this one with you because it has to be my all time favourite one :-)

As my family will tell you, my bottom lip was always out as a child and my sisters would probably tell you that it still is stuck out.
Anyway Sapphie has her first visit with her pediatrician on Wednesday and I am certain that it will go really well :-). I will be back on to let you know how she gets on.

Somedays are worse then other days. I find that some days things make me really wonder about what Sapphire's life will be like, I know I over think things but I would say any one with children always wonders what they will be when they grow up? will they be happy? and many more questions go through your minds. This sounds so silly but I watched Glee and there is a girl on there who has down syndrome, basically a boy told her he couldn't go out with her and she said " is it because I am so intimidating" and he said "yes". When she walked away she said the question she wanted to ask was "is it because I have downs", she went onto say that she already knew the answer and that she knew it was yes and she began to cry, I have to say it really did hit home and I found myself crying too, all we as parents want to do is protect our children, I know many people will say it is only a programme and not true but if we are honest with ourselves then we all know how cruel people and life can be and I just pray that Sapphire doesn't constantly meet heart ache.

On a more positive note Saf is now 10lbs, she has had her first jabs and she definitely let the people know in the surgery that she was there. She is now smiling and oh goodness her smile melts my heart.
Harmony has shared her rules with Sapphire about how ahe has to behave when she sits on her knee which made me laugh, she was having a conversation with Saf and Saf just looked at her and smiled and then pulled her hair :-) Harmony had to then go on and tell her that this too was not allowed while she was sat on her knee :-).

Well what a busy few days we have had. We have started healthy eating and I am cooking from scratch, if you knew me you would know that is a big step up to take aways and frozen meals :-) not sure that the children are enjoying it as much as I am though.
As you can see from the photo above Sapphire is now smiling and she is also cooing (obviously you can't see this in the photo :-)). The health visitor has been out and she is meeting all her milestones. She is now 9lb 1 oz so she is putting weight on nicely (I am putting that down to my homemade cooking). Much to my mums delight I haven't given into the temptation of a dummy.

We have had visits the past few days from my friends who I used to work with years ago at a sewing factory, they have had lots of cuddles and totally adored Sapphire

As you can see while Sapphire was getting all these cuddles her sisters and friends were really busy doing this, I believe we have too much technology in this house :-)

As well as being busy with visitors I have been reading, I was given some good advice from another parent who has a young baby with Downs and that was, not to read any of the books that are available as most of them are out of date, she told me to buy a book called "Gifts", it is written by 63 parents who have children with downs and it is their own stories about how they came to terms with the news and it has been inspirational to me. It made me feel less guilty about how upset I had been when I got the news of Sapphires condition because what I have read so far they reacted in a similar way. I just want to say that at first when I had her I found it hard to see past her condition and see her as a baby and the guilt I felt about this was intense but that feeling doesn't last for long.

Sapphire wore her first dress today as S and H wanted to dress her up, can I say the headband didn't last long, she soon took it out by wriggling her head until it was out and I can't say I blame her.

 

Sapphire is still struggling with bringing her wind up, so I am hoping her new chair will help that as it vibrates so I am hoping it will break it up for her.
Summer is spending lots of time snuggling her but unfortunately Harmony is poorly so her blog is a bit slow at the moment.
Sapphire is now staring at people when they talk to her and we all just wish that we knew what she was thinking, or maybe we are better off not knowing with her growing up in this mad house. She is still loving the water so I am currently looking into taking her swimming, I need to find out how old they have to be and if they have to have their injections or not.
Anyway I must go now as a little lady has woken up for her feed :-) xx

Hello :-)
My sister and her family came up to meet Sapphire and she loved all the cuddles and attention she got from her Auntie, Uncle and Cousins. Katie (my sister) came to help me while my mum was in Scotland having a well deserved break after what she has been through with me the past 4 weeks. It was lovely to see everyone, my sister loved being an Auntie again and she said she would do everything but nappies, but Saf had different ideas about that and she waiting until she was alone with her Auntie and made it clear to her that she needed a new nappy on there and then :-). Katie tried to not tell me she was changing it but Saf again decided to take charge of the situation and had a wee all over the mat so my middle daughter came and told me that her Auntie Katie was changing a nappy and that Saf had done a wee, she thought it was sooo funny.
Katie left on the Sunday and is now safely back in Cornwall along with Sapphires cold (I have taught her to share from a young age). It was great having her here and she was such a great help, I love the way families come together to support and look after each other in times of need. I just hope they all realise how much I appreciate what they have all done for me.

Harmony blowing out her candles on her 11th birthday

I have to say it has been a busy couple of weeks. Harmony celebrated her 11th birthday and moved into her new bedroom which is now a shrine to her favourite band, one direction. Everytime I enter the room I am greeted with her favourite member of the band Harry's cheesy grin. She had her friends over for tea. I think I am now turning into a bit of a dab hand with baking. I made cupcakes for the first time ever and here they are

She had an amazing day and she boasted to us both that she was the first one to get a birthday card from Sapphire and that she had even signed the card herself :-)

I am going to have to go now as Saf has just woken up and cuddles are too precious to miss out on.

Ok I have a small amount of time while Saf is asleep, the eldest is at a sleepover and the middle one is at her friends for tea :-) This is a rare peaceful time for me.
I am going to try and quickly get up to date so excuse me if I don't get into any detail but so much happens every day, I am constnatly playing catch up on here :-).
Saf and I were only out of hospital for one night, the photo above shows her fast asleep in her new bed which she is still in and loves. The midwife came out the next day to check us both over and found that Saf had gone down in weight from her birth weight of 8 lb 8 to 7lb 6, because she had lost more than 10 percent of her birth weight she told us that we had to go back into hospital, once again my emotions were shook and all I can say is thank god for my mum. She was an absolute rock and there is no way I would of got through this without her. She took us back into hospital and had my 2 eldest girls for the next few days.
When we arrived back in hospital it was found that Saf had hyperglycemia and hypothermia. I really didn't think I could take anymore, my hormones were all over and I was exhausted.
The NICO unit nurses came and monitored her in the maternity unit with me. I don't think I have ever cried or felt so useless in my life, I was so frightened that something was going to happen to Sapphire I just didn't think I could deal with it. The staff at hospital were absolutely amazing and soon Sapphire was gaining weight, they finally let us go home on  Friday 6th January.
I was still really nervous about her weight and paranoid, I wrote everything down, the times she fed, her temperature and what was in her nappies. This was all new to me and I was determining to continue breast feeding her as babies with down syndrome have a lower immune system.

The girls were ecstatic to have us home but were also a little nervous that we would have to go back in.
The midwife came out the next day and I asked her if she was aware that Sapphire had a separate weight chart because of being Downs, and she wasn't aware of this and neither of the others were, also they weren't aware that Saf wouldn't put weight on as quickly as other babies. The midwife who came out was lovely but it was just a lack of education. Waiting to have Sapphire was worse than I used to feel waiting to get on the scales at weight watchers :-).

To bring you upto speed, Sapphire has now had her heart scan and she hasn't got any of the defects associated with Downs but we have to wait until next January to see if she has a hole in her heart. If the hole is big enough they will operate but it will only be keyhole surgery and it will be done when she is 3 and she will only have to stay in hospital for 2 days. Her hearing is responsive so everything is positive